yes i suppose you're right. i shouldn't make fun of other people or what they believe, i shouldn't judge because really i only have as much proof as the next guy for what i believe. i can't show you God exists no more than Hume can show me he doesn't, i guess people just have to find him for themselves, i'd just like to point people in the right direction because i know what i believe. it sounds really arrogant, narrowminded and shortsighted maybe, but i know what i know. i've experienced God in a way that is indescribeable and even if i tried to i just couldn't explain it, but i am sure of my faith, i am sure of my beliefs and nothing is going to make me change that. i couldn't stand a life without God, i just don't know how people who don't believe can cope sometimes, well i guess some people don't. but life is extremely hard as it is. i know i've made some serious mistakes i've "walked away" and known some pretty bad things. i've felt depressed, i've felt alone and so so sad, i've had nobody to turn to yet if i was asked i would say that i've "always known God" well that is true, i've always known him, problem is i did forget him. And i still do, i let so many things get in the way of me and God and i feel so bad for it, i'm such a bad example of what a christian should be, i can sit here and complain, i could argue till the sun goes down about the witherto and whyfores of God's existence, but at the end of the day that kind of thing doesn't really matter. What really matters is faith in Jesus, in knowing that he died for us all, that he went through all the horror and pain of crucifixion, just for us. nobody will ever understand what it was like for him to do that. (its kind of topical being holy week and all!) but palm sunday (yesterday) he rides into Jerusalem everybody shouting, cheering, claiming that he is their king, how great must that have felt! to have the last supper, with all your closest friends, such a meaningful and memorable day, it was important anyway for any jew, but specifically for Jesus now. But all the time, knowing what was to come. in the garden of gethsemane, he knew fear, he knew that he was going to his death, he was so scared that he pleaded, cried to God that if there was any other way, if it could be avoided, if he didn't have to die. he was so scared blood poured from his face, yet in a moment he thought, he prayed not for himself but for others, for everybody in the future, and thinking of You said; "but still, even though i don't want it, i'm going to do what i have to do, i'm going to do it for you God, to save them" ~paraphrased!~ was that a moment of weakness? well Jesus was a man like any other, would you not ask for such aburden to be taken from you if you were given the choice? but he showed his overwhelming love: "not my will but yours be done.." Then Judas cme along, and for 30 silver pieces sold Jesus' life, just because he didn't turn out to be the warrior messiah he had hoped for, and betrayed him to death with the beautiful sign of love; a kiss. then he was taken away, chained, beaten laughed at. i know what its like to be laughed at, and beaten up, and its awful you feel so helpless. but this wasn't me, this was Jesus, he didn't deserve it. after he was beaten he was flogged with a whip, so sharp that with every lash it wripped his back so that when they were done it looked like a ploughed field, stained red. The humilliation of being stripped of your clothes and a crown, of razor sharp thorns squeezed into his head. every part of his body aching from sheer pain, the crowds spitting at him and screaming "Crucify him!!" when just days before it was "hosanna!, blessed is he who comes in the name of the lord!" how could he cope? but it was not over, the worst was yet to come. He was truly alone, his friends had scattered for fear ofthe same fate, Peter who on the night of the last supper had promised "lord i will never leave you, even if i have to follow you to the death" had denied even knowing him, three times. Then Jesus was then given his cross and told to drag it through the streets up to the place where he was to die. at this point, in the searing heat even a fit and well man would hvae struggled, but Jesus, who was within an inch of his life already, his wounds from the lashings burning, the flies buzzing around him, marched on. Falling, and beaten until he got back up, he needed help and although simon took the cross, nobody could take away the real burden. On the hill, Golgotha, he lay on the harsh, rough wood as soldiers grasped his hands and held them down as he struggled to fight the fear and the pain. As a carpenter his hands were very important to him, and now they were pierced, pierced with nails sharp and unforgiving as the hammer pounded them into place, and then through his feet. Still the pain grew worse as he was hoisted into place. The crowd jeered "save yourself, you've done it for so many others" the taunts weighed heavy on him just like they would on any person. We can try and identify with his hurt, if you ever have had a nasty physical wound, you know how sharp pain can be. if you have ever felt lonely, if you know what it is to be rejected by friends and have nobody to turn to, you could try and empathise, if you've ever been scared you could try and understand. but how could anybody know what it was like for him, he who was the son of God, he who was the most perfect, spotless balmeless person who ever lived, the one who had never done anything wrong, ever. He was there at the beginning of time. How could anybody understand, could you look down on all those betraying, lying, evil people, those who deserved to die when you desereved life, and not say; "i hate you" but "father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing" could you love them like he did? but even worse was that jesus took sin, every sin, on himself. he took the weight of every lie, every evil thought, every evil desire, every feeliong of guilt and shame. He took all the hurt and the pain, all the loneliness, everytime you ever felt dissapointed, rejected and hated. He felt it to, when he was on that cross he felt it, on top of the physical pain, he had the emotional pain but not just of himself but of all the world, from the very first sin, right to the very last, past present and future Jesus took it all, and in the midst of it, was thinking of you.
Why? it doesn't make sense, but he did it out of real Love, that is how far love is prepared to go, and all for you. The amazing thing is that whenever you feel anything now, because of what Jesus did, he is there with you, rigth the way through it. he's there in the joy the fun and the laughter and is laughing too. he's there in the pain and the sadness, through the hurt and depression, and is crying too. he's there all the time and you're never alone. because of jesus' death we can have life! and life full, more than you can evrer imagine. ok, thats what i mean that i'm a no good example, if i'm the only example of christian life people see, there's not much to aspire for here, but really, there is nothing else like it. life has new meanings, there is faith and hope, there is love and love that will never fade, and even when all around has fallen Jesus, the rock on which my life is placed, is still standing, and so am i.
well the story doesn't end there; Jesus didn't just die, he won! he beat sin to a bloody pulp, smashed death to pieces and made joy a free gift for every subscriber! he came back to life, so that everybody else could have it. its amazing, and the best thing is, its no fairy tale, its real, it did happen, its happening today, its free for you if you want it because Jesus loves you. thats what i believe, and you can't argue with that.
God bless you all. happy easter. <><
