well since you all haven't sent me the money i'm guessing that you haven't achieved your sense of achievement. but anyhoo material possessions will fade, rust and rot, so who cares about them anyway. Now to get all sentimental and soppy (so excuse me while i fetch the barf bucket!)
the time is at hand where this mortal life at school will soon end. The security of the group study room will pass and open into the big wide world of the newman halls of residence. AAARRRHGHH!!! its soo soon, its like two weeks away and then thats it, forever!! and obviously in this nostalgic mood of mine i have taken the time to reflect on the last few, rather uneventful years of my life, so are you sitting comfortably? then i'll begin.
Well the joy of GCSEs were fast approaching, and left me with my ever continuing sense of unachievement, failure, and general not-goodenoughness. but above all loneliness, i had no friends who i could really say that even if i never saw them again that i'd really miss them, and i knew (because they had no qualms about telling me) that they shared the same sentiment. So nobody really cared what happened to me, and nobody wanted to know. soo then came the big choice, where to go and do my A's. HHmmm stay at south, for two more years of the life of a social outcast? (imagine what i'd be if i'd stayed!? it doesn't even bare thinking about!) go to college and live among the chavs, and NVQ students learning how to do a "modern aprenticeship" in bricklaying, and the prospect of seeing my dad everyday who recently got a job there, or go to north, the apparent "enemy", "they'll eat you alive!!" "you'll fail miserably!!" they cried, but he who laughs last, laughs the loudest!
Oh the joy of signing on day! so i got my GCSE results (mediocre as one would expect from me; 3M!) but Ms scarrot didn't seem to mind and told me to go and choose. well ok, here i am, surrounded by people i've never met before all except one (laurie) who has gone to que for her subjects! argh! so ok history, where's history? so here i am lining up in the que to talk to mrs crompton and from behind me i see this hugely tall being towering far above me (no sorry, not quite like that but anyway you understand that at that time i was a bit intimidated by everything!!!) and she introduced herself as george. WOW!!! somebody actually spoke to me, but then i realised that laura had told her to talk to me, but anyway it was better than nothing!
so time went on and i did what i did best, fade into the shadows where nobody would see me, i sat on the tables looking around at people i recognised from first school, but realising that not only was i invisible at south but also must have been there too because nobody remembered me. oh well. but one day, on the way to school i happened to notice Ms ashford walking the same way as me "oh hello" the conversation went "who do you walk to school with?"
"uumm myself"
"oh you could walk with us if you like?"
WOW!!!! i have people who actually want to walk to school with me?!?!? pitty is such a wonderful thing! and so there it began, i got invited bowling (never happened before) people wanted to sit next to me in lessons (i think i must have used to have the plague or something because people always used to avoid me like it!) and guess what?! sometimes, people would even try to converse with me, shock horror of horrors!!!! what do i do? what to say? that's never happened before, it was a completely new experience for me!
so time went on and people started to get to know me i guess, and saw a part of me that had never been allowed out before. i always used to be stifled "shut up marshall" "nobody cares" or the most common, simply; "F*** off!" as of yet i don't think i've been spat on either which is rather good not havingto wash your uniform in secret so your mom doesn't go crazy with worry about how you are at school. FINALLY i was HAPPY!!!!! WOO
And now i have a group of people around me i can really call my friends, you guys are soo cool i think you're great! i'd do anything i could for any of you if ever you need me, you guys have given me so much of myself back that you just wouldn't realise, i owe you so much! you really have helped me to understand that somewhere inside of me there is something that people like to be around and enjoy its company. Who cares if you're weird, twisted and occasionally perverse, you're my friends and i wont hear a bad word said against any of you! All of you are excellent people, and amazing friends i have been sooooo thankful for all of you, you all are so great to be with, you want to know why i hang around with you? becuase you're the best friends this guy has ever had.
thanks, and i wish you all the very best that God has for you in the future!
i pray for you all continually, and somewhere floating around in the big wide ocean are "prayer stones" with all of your names carved in them, i just want you to know that i wont forget you, and i know i've quoted this alot but i stick by this one:
proverbs 18:24: Some friends may ruin you, but a true friend will stick closer than a brother. See you later guys, i hope i have made some difference to you all, like you have for me.
God bless you. <><
