I've once again reverted to not liking it here
Well that just about says it all i guess. at my current rate of academic backsliding i'll be a college dropout before you know it. Essays aren't getting done, reading isn't getting done, presentations aren't getting done, and the reason why? Coz i can't! It seems a physical impossibility for me to do anything here. The only thing i've managed to succeed in is having some rather successful jam sessions with many differnt people, and make a name for myself as being the guitar man who sings in the chapel at 2 in the morning. Other than that, my time here is becomeing an increasing waste of it. Why did i come here?!?!?!?!? I didn't want to, i always said that i wasn't going to, it doesn't really fit into any of my longterm life "goals" so what on earth was i thinking?! I'm not academic, i don't want to read books, then write essays on what other people think, its not me, its not going to get me where i want to go so AARRGGHH!!!
All my writing time is now spent writing either songs or stories, none of which will get me a degree, but its all i can do, its one of the few things i can focus on. It lets me get all this stuff i have in my head, my little fantasy world that i want to run away into but everyone tells me it doesn't exist, well it has to i'm sure. It must, otherwise where does all my thinking come from? Am i crazy or something? I don't know, but when reading this back again i sound like i am so i'm going to stop now. I don't know what to do but anyway.
"...So take me away, to a world where the air is clear, take me away where the stars shine bright, take me away where the clouds have a silver lining and castles in the sky, for you and I" "...run wild, run free break these chains that are holding me, run child, run free... where white horses run... don't you ever stop, run wild, run free"
All my writing time is now spent writing either songs or stories, none of which will get me a degree, but its all i can do, its one of the few things i can focus on. It lets me get all this stuff i have in my head, my little fantasy world that i want to run away into but everyone tells me it doesn't exist, well it has to i'm sure. It must, otherwise where does all my thinking come from? Am i crazy or something? I don't know, but when reading this back again i sound like i am so i'm going to stop now. I don't know what to do but anyway.
"...So take me away, to a world where the air is clear, take me away where the stars shine bright, take me away where the clouds have a silver lining and castles in the sky, for you and I" "...run wild, run free break these chains that are holding me, run child, run free... where white horses run... don't you ever stop, run wild, run free"
posted by Freak | 8.3.06
4 Comments:
It's an experience, and life is about experiences, the good and the bad. So stop whinging and get out there experiencing things ;D
~hugs~
hope things get better, i'm almost positive that they will.
: )
Thanks for the pep talk! Well i'm off to experience a philosophy meeting so gotta go! And yea, i hope things get better too!
Change universities, I don't know. Off the top of my head? BIRMINGHAM double underlined.
Sounds like you have seasonal affectiveness disorder - Things are going to be tough before they get better. You need to think about what you want to do - give it till the end of the year and then evaluate where you're at. If it isn't right for you then you have the summer to decide what to do.
Are you finding it hard to sit down and write/read or is it that you don't like it? You have to write about what you want to - turn the essays into something that you can relate to and harp on about. You've got to find ways to help you work - coping strategies. I'm still learning them now 9 years after I first started college - makes me feel old saying that. Let me know if you want some help. Talk to your tutor/David???? Give me a ring or email if you need help - if you don't I'll phone mum!!
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