Reaching Out

One thing I've always said, I've always wanted to do, is to make a difference. Not for myself, not so I stand out, become famous or anything but I just want to make a difference In this world. And at the moment it feels like the only difference is that I occupy a small section of Matt sized space that would otherwise be taken up by someone more worthy, yet of simillar stature. I don't know what it is that I want to do exactly, well I do, but I don't really know what that is (if you follow me?) basically, I want to fulfill my purpose, you know find my "meaning in life". There is a petra song that talks about basically what Bob (founder, guitarist,songriter and exceptionally cool dude) and the rest of the band see as their desire in life (if you're so interested (unlikely i know) and want to see the whole of the lyrics look up "believer in deed" by petra) Well thats me, i want people to be able to look at me and say that too, and (as the song says in the bridge) i want to be able to look back on my own life and say "...I wouldn't live my life any other way." Well ok, so like i'm not even 19 yet hopefully i've got a few more years until I reach my "three score and ten" but still, If i could even have these few years again there are so many other opportunites I should have taken, yes there are loads of mistakes i would wish i hadn't done too but I'm not thinking about that, I'm talking about not missign out on opportunites, I'm talking about living my dreams, and these are dreams that unfortunately are becoming more vague. There aren't many people I talk to about my dreams, my real ones, and i'm not going to go into them all now. Some you could probably guess, others would just seem wierd but I want to make a differnce, I guess that would sum up most of them.
But what that is, I don't know, and how i'm going to do it is even further beyond me but sitting here talking about it isn't going to help much, but seemingly neither is going away from here, coz' when i do I still don't make any difference. What can I do? What Should I do? Or should I just concede that I'm me, I'm now, and be content? But then nothing would ever get done.